Children have active imaginations, and as they develop, this intensity can often translate into fear. You'll recall the familiar dilemma of being scared of the dark. There's something about darkness that we pick up on very early in life. In the dark, our young minds run wild in a bad way, because we can't readily discern between what's real and what's imagined. It's no surprise—kids frighten easily. But what if there was another reason?
The Apostle John wrote God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. Maybe kids inherently know that darkness is contrary to God's nature. That something is wrong in a world void of light. God agrees. We lost our way in the darkness of our sin. So God sent the one who is the true light, who gives light to everyone (John 1:9). He sent us Jesus. He is a light in our darkness, which is as light to him (Psalm 139). He is our nightlight. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it (John 1:4-5).
This is a weight I cannot bear. I can’t wrap my arms around something this big. So I take to my bed. I pull the covers over my eyes, and block out the world. It hurts to feel this much. My heart squeezes in a pain so intense that for a moment I just wish it would stop beating altogether.
I have given you my heart.1
Yes my child.
Why would you do this? I can’t breath. I’m choking on discouragement. Better to not feel at all.
Is that what you truly wish?
To never feel? To never laugh with pure joy? To never marvel at my creation? To never burst at the seams with love?
No God, those are all fantastic emotions. I guess I don’t want to experience any of the negative ones.
I have given you my heart. My heart swells with love, and it breaks with unspeakable sadness. I don’t want to only share a portion of myself with you, I want to share it all.
But how do you bear the sadness?
I am God.
Then how do I deal with it?
I am God.
You said that. But I honestly have no idea how to pick myself up.
I am God.
I know, but I have to move beyond this so that I can function like a normal human being.
I am God.
Stop saying that, and help me!
My child, I am God which means that you are not.
I have given you my heart, but I have not bestowed godship on you. I want you to know what is close to my heart—all that is beautiful in this world, and all that is ugly that I wish to redeem.
But what should I do when I see more ugly than good?
Come to me.2 I can handle it all.
I… I’m sorry that I haven’t done that.
All is forgiven. You are learning to share your heart with me. It will take practice, but I know that you can do it.
Thank you, Lord, for not leaving me alone in my despair. Thank you for renewing my spirit. I guess it’s time to get out of this bed, huh?
Keep your eyes on me. I will guide your steps.3 Nothing is beyond my hope and salvation.
- Ezekiel 36:26
- Matthew 11:28
- Isaiah 30:21